#15

I think is quote means that Rochester was always held down by his wife Bertha and that he never could do much to change that, so even when he truly was interested in other women he was stuck with her. So Jane was forced to be the girl on the side, and keep a low profile, even if he was more compassionate about her. Jane understands how much stress he must be under having to deal with someone like her, but even if she is understanding it she cannot not handle it, its too much for her. She needs to stay cold and put a wall up and learn when her plate is too full. Just so she will not get hurt anymore.