Rice Husband Blog

In a way I liked and hated this story. I loved how Lena’s and Ying-Ying’s stories related and how they had the same theme of invisibility and wanting to be found. I felt I really related to the wanting to be found part, but in a different way then they did. They wanted to be found and noticed by other people, but I want to be able to find myself. One of my greatest fears is that I won’t ever find myself, that I won’t ever really know who I am and what and who I’m supposed to be. I think I know things about myself until I really think about it, like I say my favorite color is blue and I think its is, but is it really I don’t know, I know I like blue most of the time, but sometimes I don’t and then I also like other colors too, so if I don’t even know something as simple as my favorite color how can I possibly know myself, well I don’t and that’s what scares me what if I never know what I really want and who I really am. In fact last session when we were writing poems from song titles I got the song “Still Lost” and I found that sort of ironic seeing how that’s what I’m afraid of being, so I picked that song and I wrote a poem about how I felt called “Unfound” and now we are reading these stories about these mothers and daughters and all of them are sort of lost in their relationships with each other, especially Lena and Ying-Ying. So, although I don’t really know the feeling of being invisible that well I can understand their feelings and wanting to be found. I think when Ying-Ying compares to a ghost she is saying she is just lost in his world with everyone including herself sometimes not paying attention to hers. In this way I think people see her as sort of like a bed, table, or chair or any other everyday inanimate object that you take for granted and only pay attention to when want it or it is helping you, without ever thinking about how it would feel or need if it were a living being. This is exactly how Lena’s husband treats her how he doesn’t even know that she doesn’t like ice cream, but paid attention to her when she was giving him all these great ideas and then not giving her any credit for them. This why I hated this story because of they way he treated her and how she never did anything about it and I hated the whole thing with not eating and then the boy dying. I also hate that Lena notices they way he treats her and doesn’t like, but doesn’t do anything and feels she should be treated better and noticed when she doesn’t even treat herself well. This sounds horrible, but I think she deserves to be stuck with someone so horrible because I think she can think she deserves better, but she doesn’t because if you wanted to be treated well and better by others then you have to treat yourself well too, and if you don’t you deserve what you get because if you don’t respect yourself you have absolutely no right whatsoever to complain about it because of course if you don’t treat yourself well then no one else will either and you’ll deserve it. When I say this I’m referring to Lena because she wants to be respected and treated well, but she doesn’t even respect or treat herself well. If she really deserved to be respected and treated well she would realize this and start by respecting and treating herself well, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t respect and treat herself well, instead she does the opposite. She treats herself horribly and doesn’t respect herself or her body by being anorexic and never doing anything that would make people look at her and want to respect her. She lets everyone treat her badly and doesn’t do anything about it, when if she stood up for herself and didn’t let people push her around and if she took credit for her ideas instead of letting people take credit for them people would start to respect her because she is respecting herself and not letting people treat her badly, and if she doesn’t let them then they can’t and after a while they won’t want to, either because it’s too hard and they want easier prey or because they respect her for standing up for herself. It doesn’t matter why they are doing it as long as their doing it, because people who have learned to respect her have some view of righteousness, and the people who think its too hard are bullies and bullies only bully people until they’re stood up to and then its too hard for them and they’re too scared to continue because bullies are people who like to control others, but when the others start to rebel they don’t know what to do and don’t want to then be bullied themselves so they give in and just pick new people to bother. So since Lena just lets these things happen to her and even helps by bullying herself by being anorexic, I believe she deserves it all because its one thing to just be too afraid to rebel and not do anything, but it’s a totally different thing to not do anything and assist in it. I think Yin-Ying’s story is very similar, but the one main difference is that Ying-Ying was just being ignored and not bullied, but even to just being ignored she rebelled in her own way by forcing people to pay attention to her when she would wander off and even though this attention never lasted long at least she got some and at least she was trying whether she meant to or not.